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Ong Bak (retrospective, part 1)
If you’ve been praying for a blog post about an awesomely violent movie, you’re in luck! Though I question your prayer priorities. Ong Bak: Muay Thai Warrior (inexplicably subtitled “The Thai Warrior”...
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Ong Bak (retrospective, part 2)
The conflict finally comes to a head. No one image could sum up the movie better. After the bravura sequence where Ting fights three contenders in quick succession, there’s some silliness involving an...
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The Warriors (fight 1 of 2)
And now for a highly accurate depiction of urban gang life. Well, more or less. Walter Hill’s perennial cult favorite The Warriors lives in a surreal world all its own. Part outsized comic book...
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The Warriors (fight 2 of 2)
The Warriors are about to have their climactic battle. Can you dig it? How could you say no after seeing this image? 2) The Warriors vs The Punks The Fighters: The Warriors, or at least the six...
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The Raid: Redemption (fight 1 of 5)
“Be a man and see it. See it and be a man.” - Chapel 3929 “Is there a fund we can give to for the families of all these stunt men who clearly died while filming The Raid: Redemption?” – Seanbaby At the...
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The Raid: Redemption (fight 2 of 5)
Eat your heart out, Jason Voorhees. It looks like he’s reeling just from being yelled at, which actually makes this even better. 2) Machete Chaos The Fighters: Rama, once again. Played by Iko Uwais....
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The Raid: Redemption (fight 4 of 5)
Drug bust. Face bust. 3) Drug Lab Assault The Fighters: Rama, our hero, now patched up and rested a bit from his previous encounters. Played by Iko Uwais Wahyu, the police lieutenant in charge of the...
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Pacific Rim (fight 2 of 5)
Another fight filled with tragedy. And not just because Striker never got any beads for this. If Pacific Rim has any major weakness it’s that it sags in the middle. Not terminally– what does transpire...
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Pacific Rim (fight 5 of 5)
Feel free to make your filthy sexual jokes about “disappointing climaxes” here. Gipsy and Striker will be hiding from them at the bottom of the ocean. 5) Operation Pitfall The Fighters: Gipsy Danger,...
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Scott Pilgrim vs The World (fight 3 of 4)
Girls, girls, girls…. Always fighting over a boy. Sorta. 3) Roxy Richter The Fighters: Scott Pilgrim, as always. Played by Michael Cera. Ramona Flowers, Scott’s new girlfriend, joins in on this one....
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Scott Pilgrim vs The World (fight 4 of 4)
For once I’m at a loss to make a video game analogy that the movie itself hasn’t already beat me to. +6 Blogger Pre-emption 4) Gideon Graves The Fighters: Scott Pilgrim, obviously. Much more pissed off...
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The Incredible Hulk (fight 1 of 2)
They have an Army, but we have a… Um. Not quite. 2008′s The Incredible Hulk is underrated. It’s not great by any means, being underwhelming in certain aspects and lacking in others. But its heart is in...
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Enter The Dragon (retrospective)
“Finally! What the hell took you so long?” I can tell the wait has distressed you. Enter The Dragon! One of the most famous, beloved, iconic kung fu flicks of all time. Starring Bruce Lee, the man who,...
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Iron Man 2 (fight 3 of 4)
Redheads. Am I right, fellas? Yes, unfortunately. 3) Black Widow Cuts Loose The Fighters: Black Widow aka Natasha Romanoff. A former Russian spy & assassin who’s become one of SHIELD’s greatest...
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Iron Man 2 (fight 4 of 4)
In which Iron Man teams up with his greatest ally. Er, no. 4) Iron Man and War Machine vs Whiplash and Hammer drones The Fighters: Iron Man, aka Tony Stark, our hero. Doing a lot better than before,...
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Oldboy
“Can fifteen years of imaginary training really be put to use?” Honestly, the fact that the dude on the ground with a knife in his back manages to win this fight isn’t even the third most shocking...
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Spider-Man 3 (fight 5 of 5)
In which Spider-Man receives help from an unlikely ally! Uh, no, she’s not who I’m talking about. But it’s about time she contributed 5) Spider-Man and New Goblin vs Sandman and Venom The Fighters:...
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The Last of the Mohicans (fight 1 of 2)
All right: for real now, we’ll ditch superheroes for a while. It’s not even going to come flying back at him like Mjolnir. The Last of the Mohicans, a throwback to old-style epic Hollywood filmmaking...
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The Last of the Mohicans (fight 2 of 2)
Don’t mess with the old man. Or he’ll Chingach-get ya. 2) Magua vs The Mohicans The Fighters: Chingachgook, the Mohican elder. Played by Russell Means. Armed with: Gunstock war club, same as before....
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One Piece: Alabasta arc (fight 1 of 6)
One Piece is the greatest thing ever. Try not to look TOO smug about it. Okay, not really. There are at least several things better than One Piece (the Bible, true love, Robocop) but when you’re...
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